September 22, 202511 min read

Is ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy’ Still Safe in 2025? What You Need to Know

Ava Monroe

By Ava Monroe

Relationship & Behavioral Insights Writer

"Are We Dating the Same Guy" groups let women share dating experiences to flag red flags. They help but raise gossip, privacy, and defamation concerns. CheaterScanner offers a safer, private AI alternative.

Alex Martinez
By Alex Martinez

TL;DR

"Are We Dating the Same Guy" (AWDTSG) groups let women share experiences about men they meet on dating apps. They can help flag cheaters and unsafe behavior, but critics warn about gossip, defamation, and lack of accountability. If you want a private alternative, CheaterScanner uses AI to check dating apps without posting publicly.

What Is “Are We Dating the Same Guy”?

AWDTSG began in New York City in 2022, founded by Paola Sanchez, as a way for women to protect each other in online dating. The format is simple:

  • A member posts a man’s dating profile screenshot.
  • Others comment with their experiences—positive or negative.
  • The group aims to highlight red flags, from cheating to dangerous behavior.

screenshot of a website of Are We Dating the Same Guy

Since launch, AWDTSG has grown to 7M+ members in 200+ cities worldwide. The groups are private, women-only, and moderated by volunteers with rules against doxxing and excessive bullying.
There’s even an official mobile app now, though most activity still happens in local Facebook groups.


How AWDTSG Works

  • Joining: Apply via the AWDTSG website and answer screening questions.
  • Posting: Upload a man’s dating profile, usually with first name only. Posts can be anonymous.
  • Comments: Members reply with experiences—ranging from “great guy” to serious red flags.
  • Moderation: Admins enforce rules, but quality and fairness vary between groups.

The idea is safety and empowerment, but execution can get messy.


Pros of AWDTSG

Spotting Red Flags – Women report catching serial cheaters, abusers, and men hiding relationships.
Community Support – Provides a sense of solidarity in an often risky dating scene.
Balanced Feedback – Not all posts are negative; some confirm men are respectful.
Free to Use – No paywalls, unlike background check tools.


Cons & Controversies

⚠️ Defamation Risks – Men have sued groups for false claims causing reputation damage.
⚠️ Petty Gossip – Many posts focus on ghosting or minor dating disappointments.
⚠️ No Accountability – Men can’t see or defend against posts about them.
⚠️ Toxicity – Mob mentality, bullying, and shaming sometimes take over.
⚠️ Privacy Issues – Sharing someone’s profile without consent raises ethical questions.

Several groups have even shut down after lawsuits, especially outside the U.S.


Is AWDTSG Legit or a Scam?

  • Legit for Safety: Many women say it helped them avoid cheaters and unsafe men.
  • Problematic in Practice: Others argue it’s gossip with no fact-checking, creating unfair reputational harm.

It’s not a financial scam—membership is free—but it can be misused.


A Safer Alternative: CheaterScanner

If AWDTSG feels risky, CheaterScanner offers a private, AI-driven option. Instead of posting in public groups, you run a confidential scan of dating apps.

FeatureCheaterScannerAWDTSG
MethodAI scans dating appsCrowdsourced posts
InstallationNoneGroup membership required
PrivacyEnd-to-end encryption, no public postsPublic within private groups
Cost$17.99 one-timeFree
Legal RiskLow (uses public data)Higher (defamation risk)
Accuracy92–95% claimedUnverified user input
ReviewsMixed (Trustpilot 3.8/5)Mixed (supportive & critical)

Why CheaterScanner?

  • Discreet – No public exposure.
  • Fast – Results in ~48 hours.
  • Lower Risk – Avoids lawsuits tied to gossip.
  • Cost-Effective – One-time fee vs. ongoing spy apps.

screenshot of cheaterscanner website


What Users Are Saying

🔹 Positive (AWDTSG): “Found out my date was cheating—saved me time and heartbreak.” – Reddit, 2024
🔹 Negative (AWDTSG): “Someone posted lies about me. My work found out.” – Reddit, 2025


  • AWDTSG: Real risk of lawsuits for defamation. Sharing unverified allegations can cause serious fallout.
  • CheaterScanner: Safer legally, since it uses public data.

If you use either, remember: false accusations can ruin lives. Always double-check and prioritize open communication with partners.


Conclusion

AWDTSG can be a powerful way for women to share information and avoid unsafe men, but it also has major risks: gossip, defamation, and unfair targeting.
If you want safety without drama, CheaterScanner offers a private, AI-driven alternative to check whether your partner is active on dating apps.

Ultimately, the best defense is a mix of smart online habits, open communication, and tools that respect privacy and legality.


Frequently Asked Questions

They’re private and moderated, but leaks and doxxing incidents have happened.

No—groups are women-only, which critics say is unfair.

Not financially. But its lack of accountability makes it risky.

It’s private, AI-based, and lower risk—but it’s a paid service with some mixed reviews.

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Alex Martinez

Alex Martinez

Senior Tech Analyst & Relationship Security Expert with over 5 years of experience.

Is ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy’ Still Safe in 2025? What You Need to Know